For parents, their children are often the focal point of the holidays. Their travel plans and meals may require special consideration for the children to be happy. They may budget for months to afford the gifts the children want and may work hard to create meaningful family traditions.
Typically, the whole family likely gets together on the holidays to celebrate as a unit. That may not be a feasible option in scenarios where parents have divorced or separated. Parents who share custody have to establish a reasonable schedule for sharing parenting time around the holidays.
What are the different approaches that parents can use when addressing holiday parenting time?
Prioritizing the most meaningful days
People from different cultures and religions may feel strongly about different holidays. Perhaps one parent is not religious and therefore enjoys Halloween and the Fourth of July more than any other holidays. It may be possible for the parents to arrange a plan where each parent spends the holidays that they find meaningful with the children every year.
Alternating holidays
The most common solution for shared custody around the holidays is probably alternating the holidays. The parents see the children every other holiday throughout the year. The next year, they each celebrate the opposite holidays with their children. This arrangement allows each parent to create meaningful memories with the children every year and to regularly celebrate all major holidays with the children.
Splitting the holidays
When parents live close enough to each other, it may be possible to actually divide the holidays in half. The children spend the morning and early afternoon with one parent and the late afternoon and evening with the other. Such arrangements allow the children to see both parents on all major holidays but can create a bit of stress because of the travel time and custody exchange on the holiday.
Sharing the holidays
Sometimes, divorced parents managed to maintain a truly amicable dynamic. For those families, it may be possible for the parents to actually share the holidays by celebrating jointly with the children. Such arrangements can help the children feel connected to their family but also create the risk of parental conflict derailing holiday celebrations.
Parents may need to consider carefully which solution may work best for their family. They may also need to adjust their original arrangements if their dynamic or living arrangements change. Thinking about the holidays ahead of time can help parents establish child custody arrangements that work well for the whole family.