While sharing child custody more or less equally may be the ideal scenario after divorce, it’s often just not practical. Distance, work schedules and other reasons may require one parent to accept a 70-30 or even more lopsided schedule.
Depending on what kind of parenting schedule is worked out, the parent with less time may have their child only on the weekends or one full week out of the month. This can make it challenging to remain part of a child’s life – but certainly not impossible.
One thing these parents who have less time with their kids often worry about is being “out of the loop” on their school life. Keeping up with their classes, projects and grades, of course, is a big part of that. However, so is knowing when they’re performing in a concert or school play or intervening if someone is bullying them or they’re having disciplinary issues.
It’s often critical for the parent with less custody time to be proactive with their involvement – especially if their co-parent doesn’t always include them. There are numerous ways to do this. Here are a few.
Be sure you’re included in all parental communications
Your child’s teacher(s) and school administrators should have your email address and phone number and include both parents in all communications. Make sure you can access online portals used to track your assignments, grades and attendance.
Meet your child’s teacher(s)
Introduce yourself to your child’s teacher(s), extracurricular advisors, coaches and counselors as early as possible. If you live outside the area, make them aware of that but be sure they know you’re just a text or phone call away.
Make sure you’re included in any parent-teacher conferences – even if you have to attend virtually. Teachers appreciate it when they don’t have to do two separate meetings. It’s also better when both parents get precisely the same information.
Talk with your child about school
When your child is with you as well as when you’re engaging in “virtual visitation,” talk with them about what’s going on at school and make sure they know you’re as much involved, in your own way, as their other parent.
It’s always best when co-parents work together to be a united front and support system for their children. It helps to codify expectations for keeping each other informed and having consistent expectations in your parenting plan. Having experienced legal guidance will help you create a thorough plan that puts your child’s best interests first.